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Best excuse you have heard from a tradesman? - Green Building Forum

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Best excuse you have heard from a tradesman?

I'm waiting for a guy to come and measure up for our new stairs.

Originally he was supposed to come last Tuesday week but rang that afternoon to say that one of his machines had broken down and he had to stay in the workshop to be with the electrician who was on the way to fix it.

Plausible enough I thought, OK.

So the next appointment was this afternoon and he rings to check that I am at home and says he is on the way, sounds to be in a vehicle when making the call so great.

Then 45 minutes later (about how long it should have taken to get here) he rings again and I expect him to say he is close by and needs directions, but no he says he has his dog in the van with him and it has started bleeding and he needs to turn around and head home to the vet with the dog.

Now I'm thinking that the dog is bleeding because he ate the son's homework this morning.

Will have to do better next time....

What's the best story you have been fed?

Comments

  • I am a tradesman so I'll be writing these all down.
  • Our plasterers told us they weren't coming because there was a football match on TV.
  • Over here I always make the same mistake as today isn't 'domani' (tomorrow)
  • It'll be interesting to hear the ones for the Victoria line - they've just filled the control room with concrete.
  • edited January 2014
    Posted By: Ed DaviesIt'll be interesting to hear the ones for the Victoria line - they've just filled the control room with concrete.
    I'd say "How were we suppose to know somebody left the door open "
  • Posted By: CWattersOur plasterers told us they weren't coming because there was a football match on TV.
    Respect to their elbows :bigsmile:
    I sometimes tell my clients I won't be in the next day as I'm off to drink free beer at the local brewery that evening and will therefore be of no use the following day.
    They look at me as if I'm joking.?? :boogie:
  • edited January 2014
    My bricklayer once turned up for work an hours drive from his house and said he couldn't work because he forgot his trowel. I said he could borrow mine. He replied " I thought you might say that, the truth is I was on the beer last night, But I didn't want to let you down, do you mind if I go home, I'll be back tomorrow". I said no problem and he drove an hour home.
    I've no idea why he didn't just phone me ?
    Still doing my brickwork 15 years later :shocked:
  • Be there 'Drekkly', need I say more.:surfing:
  • Posted By: Ed DaviesIt'll be interesting to hear the ones for the Victoria line - they've just filled the control room with concrete.

    For anyone who missed that on the news...
    http://www.standard.co.uk/news/transport/workers-bought-sugar-from-supermarket-to-slow-cement-flood-farce-on-victoria-line-9081168.html

    I never knew sugar could be used to stop concrete setting...

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070425122237AA1Va4b
  • Posted By: CWattersI never knew sugar could be used to stop concrete setting...
    Fascinating. After all these years I have the answer to a question I was asked at an interview in 1980! :bigsmile:
  • Posted By: skyewrightAfter all these years I have the answer to a question I was asked at an interview in 1980!
    What, 'does he take sugar with his concrete'
  • Accepted an offer on a house from a "cash buyer". Having pushed for an exchange of contract they now tell me that they are cash buyers - the problem is the buyer of their property has let them down so don't yet have the CASH!
  • Posted By: SteamyTeaWhat, 'does he take sugar with his concrete'
    :bigsmile:

    The actual question started something like "You're the last person on site on Friday evening." & ended with "What would you do?" My younger self managed to come up with a few ideas, but raiding the sugar bowl certainly wasn't one of them!
  • Got another live one!

    I spoke to a digger driver in late April about levelling our back garden and bringing in some topsoil etc.

    He was to return the next week to agree a price and was ready to start the following week.

    The week went past and so did the month or three...

    His daughter lives directly across the road and today he was there working with a chainsaw.

    Lo and behold over he comes when he is finished and tells me "I haven't forgotten about you". Laugh, I nearly wet myself!

    Then went on to explain that he couldn't operate the digger as he has a piece of glass embedded in his hand since February and he has finally got an appointment for an operation to remove it.

    I didn't bother to point out that the glass wasn't a problem when he was using the digger across the road in April or when he was operating the chainsaw 10 minutes previous.
  • edited August 2014
    A floor screder told me,"My level is different each way round so I have it marked left and right but turn it round every other time I use it to even things out"!
  • Hungarian EWI Installers several times in the last two weeks....me no understand....
  • ' dreckly
    An unspecified amount of time,
    similar in meaning to manana, but definitely Cornish.. it means it'll happen .. . dreckly...
    the boats will be back from fishing, dreckly.. '
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dreckly
  • We have two favourites - demain (tomorrow) ... okay, so we believed it when we first moved over!

    Most though go for quinze jours - 15 days. All quotes will be ready in quinze jours - no, honestly!! Fat chance!
  • 'Couple of weeks' is my favourite reply to a multitude of questions :bigsmile:
  • edited August 2014
    There is a song about someone that is idle, one line is that he "got bitten by a snake", and another is that "he has lost a lot of jobs but won a lot of friends" :bigsmile:
  • Irishman explaining 'tomorrow' to Spaniard.

    "It's like your mañana, but without the same sense of urgency."






    Apologies for any national stereotypes that may have slipped in there.
  • edited August 2014
    Funnily enough I was in contact with our friends across the water only yesterday, I had a a number of questions regarding a quote. All I got in answer was a copy of their original e-mail containing the quote!

    Today, tomorrow, mañana -- never!!
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